On Honor, Balance, (& Nudity)

  • The following was previously published elsewhere, and has been edited slightly to fit better here...


    Among those who aspire to a code of honor, the term might take a myriad of different meanings.  Personal integrity?  An academic code?  Military honors?  Just as the word “love” might vary in its interpretation, the same is true of honor.  Brett McKay discusses these concepts in his short work “What is Honor?  (And How to Revive It)”.  Among McKay’s basic ideas surfaces the contrast between horizontal honor and vertical honor, and I find these concepts particularly useful in Master / slave relationship dynamics. 

    Horizontal honor is a right to mutual respect among equals.  This is contrasted with vertical honor.  Vertical honor isn’t about mutual respect.  It is about esteem and admiration for one who is superior, and has demonstrated his superiority.  It is hierarchical in nature.

    One might leap to seeing vertical honor exemplified between master and slave, and this would not be incorrect.  Yet for vertical honor to exist, horizontal honor must first be present.  Our dynamic cannot function without respect for those who would be beneath us.

    One of the things that has made a big impression on me as the dominant partner in my own relationship is the concept of balance.  We distinguish power and powerlessness externally, in order to better achieve these things internally.  For example:

    I sit on my throne, she kneels at my feet.  (I’m serious.  I do actually have a throne in our house.  It’s kind of a big deal.)

    I stare directly at her, she averts her eyes.

    I am clothed in power and finery, she is naked.

    And so on.  The problem with this thinking comes when the master starts to do things that have been up to this point associated with the slave.  For example, I have found that the easiest way to lock and unlock her collar is to kneel behind her.  Is this submission then?  Of course not.  It means something entirely different, and that is where we need to draw our attention.  What is it that makes an act inherently dominant or submissive?

    One of my favorite points of note with this is nudity.  One of her rules is that she is to be completely naked at all times, unless I say otherwise, and even then she is permitted to wear only what I instruct.  I am very strict about this.  It means no clothing whatsoever.  No make-up.  No nail polish.  No hair tie.  Nothing.

    So, when I have her remove my clothes, are we now equals?  On the contrary.  When I stand naked before you, it is like doing so with my pet.  We are different beings, master and slave.  Your nudity is enforced, and you couldn’t change it if you wanted to.  Mine is power.  Fear me.  Admire me.  Revere me.  Love me.  And I will love you.

    This imbalance of power and control is at its heart rooted in the egalitarianism that underlies our relationship…in balance with each other.  We need one to fuel the other.  her slavery can understandably be very draining for her at times.  We need time to refuel, and to charge our vertical highs with a horizontal foundation.

1 comment
  • Alduras likes this
  • Adira of Alduras
    Adira of Alduras Greetings Master! Thank you for sharing this, it's a very interesting way to describe honor. Espescially the part of nudity, is very similar in my Masters house and it's true: if my Master is naked, it doesn't change his power at all, since he can cloth...  more
    October 28, 2017 - 2 like this