Out to Dinner

  • I am sharing this piece of writing based on a private message conversation, so that everyone might benefit...

    The events I am describing here actually occurred years ago, but they were a significant landmark and turning point in the evolution of my relationship with my slave.  It seemed logical to past me that she should not be allowed to issue requests or orders to others.  she is lower in status than a waiter or waitress who is paid for their work.  So, our rule was that whenever in public, such as at a restaurant, she would have to discreetly ask me for what she would like.  I would then decide if she were allowed to have it, and would then make the request of the wait staff.  This was a consensual framework that we spent time developing.  We value discretion when our dynamic involves the presence of others, such as the general public, friends or family, and especially our child.  However, what we failed to realize was that we were not in fact being as discrete as we thought.

    On one particular outing, we made a waitress clearly very uncomfortable.  The waitress multiple times asked her direct questions, to which she demurely looked to me, and I answered.  The poor waitress kept giving her looks as if to ask “Are you ok?  Do I need to call for help?”  That thankfully did not occur, and all of those involved were happy when we left the restaurant.

    What we rationally understood before this incident, but failed to personally comprehend, was that the waitress had not consented to our relationship dynamic.  The waitress did not comprehend what she was witnessing, and it rightly made her uncomfortable.  Afterwards, the rules changed.

    What was decided moving forward was that she would be responsible for all of my food and drink.  she is discouraged from asking me for input, and is instead expected to present me with healthy, yet delicious meals and beverages.  At home, she cooks.  If we go out, she orders, rather than me.  This is actually a fitting rule that allows her to be herself more fully, as she is a foodie who loves to cook for other people, talk about food, figure out interesting combinations of flavors, etc.  This works for wait staff as well, because I obviously don’t have the same sort of restrictions that she used to have.  If a waiter or waitress asks me a question, I am fully capable of answering for myself, asking for drink refills, etc.

    Ultimately, this transition was part of the evolution of our D/s into more of a functional Master / slave relationship.  I am influenced in part by a Gorean aesthetic and share some basic ideas of the Gorean philosophy.  The same could easily be said of my amateur interest in historical slavery as practiced in ancient Greece and Rome.  she has come to serve as my body slave, that is – my personal attendant, secretary, and servant (as well as de facto sex slave – but the point is, she is really so much more than that).  As part of her duties as my slave, she is expected to serve as an extension of my will and person; to speak for me as my representative in my absence, or when I myself choose to remain silent.  Food preparation and ordering at a restaurant are excellent opportunities for her to practice this type of service, and in no way upset the power of our dynamic.  Rather, they strengthen it.  she is still under my control, though hopefully now we do a better job of making ourselves compatible with what others think they see when they look at us.

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