Gorean Living

  • I have been involved in the Gorean lifestyle for over 30 years.

    I have been asked many times what it means to be Gorean and what I had learned by being in this lifestyle. They also wished to know what, in my opinion, were the differences between BDSM and Gorean lifestyles.

    I thought about this for awhile and here is my opinions and thoughts on this subject.

    Remember these are just my opinions based upon what I have read or been told. I welcome discussion and comments of an adult nature and if I have been misinformed I am always ready to listen to another opinion or be shown proof otherwise.

    The differences between BDSM and Gorean lifestyles:

    There are claims the Gorean is a sub-culture of BDSM. In this, I emphatically disagree! Number One, Gorean is not so much a Culture as it is a LIFESTYLE. Two, The only similarity between Gorean and BDSM, as I see it, is only if there is a slave involved and only then because we both use bondage and punishments to train or control the actions of the sub/slave. You can be Gorean and have no slave, Gorean is a lifestyle you live on a personal level.

    Gorean Lifestyle:

    A few words come to mind when I think on this subject, they are Honor, Responsibility, Commitment, Love, Trust and Loyalty.

    A Gorean relationship encompasses all of these, the kajira (female slave) is loyal and committed to her Master, she believes in him and trusts him to do what is right for her and she typically loves her Master with all her heart and soul. A Gorean relationship is 24/7 365 days a year and the kajira will usually live with her Master.

    The kajira gives over her entire life: body, mind and soul to her Master. He OWNES her and does with her as he wishes, but he is ultimately RESPONSIBLE for her health, care and well-being. He will punish her for transgressions, disobedience or not being pleasing, but rarely is he brutal or sadistic in his punishments.

    Not to say that a BDSM relationship could not also encompass these things, but the typical BDSM relationship, from what I have seen, read and heard, is usually a PLAY type relationship.

    It is also where the Dom/Domme and sub come together for "scenes" or “sessions” of play. There are “safe words” a word or phrase that the sub may utter to say “I have had enough, stop!” or “I am done with this session, time to go home”.

    In a lot of these relationships there is no actual long term"relationship" beyond the play or friendship. It is “play” and just enjoyment of the moment.

    I have heard and seen Dom/sub relationships that do go beyond this to where the couple live together and are possibly married, but I think these type of BDSM relationships are a minority.

    Gorean lifestyle philosophy:

    This is what I believe to be the philosophy of the lifestyle and on being a Gorean Master:

    Gorean is a lifestyle. It is living by a set of personal “codes”, usually based upon Honor, Truthfulness, Self-discipline, and Integrity, on a daily basis both at home and in the world at large.

    You will find many opinions and definitions as to what it is to be "Gorean".

    Basically, the lifestyle is based upon the fantasy novels called "Gor" that were written by John Norman. You can Google "Gor" or "Gorean" and there are many websites with information. Be cautious, however, for there is as much, if not more, “mis-information” as there is truth.

    Ultimately you must speak with those who are Gorean to find the truth. Here again, you must be cautious, there are many who claim to be “Gorean” but are in truth wanabee’s, BDSM crossovers, or those who just wish power play, dominance and control over another.

    It is usually best to find a responsible, well managed, Gorean board or chat site where the Administrators take their roles seriously and weed out the riff-raff.

    The Gorean kajira (slave girl):

    The lifestyle may also contain a relationship between a Man and female in a Master/slave relationship, in which, the female gives total control to the Master.

    These are a few of the realities of the Gorean kajira as stated in the books.....

    The Gorean kajira is "owned" property and can be done with as the Master wishes.

    In general, she must be aware that she has no rights, not even to her name, and should therefore have no expectations on how she should be treated. She should know, deep within herself that she will be treated in whatever fashion the Master wishes and must accept that fact. She should expect no special considerations or attentions from the Master.

    She may at times be lavishly loved both physically and emotionally and at other times be completely ignored or treated as a piece of furniture.

    [[Now the realities within our world.....]]

    I have been Gorean for almost 20 years, and in my personal view on the lifestyle, a Master treats his slave as a cherished possession and cares for and maintains his kajira in health and well-being. A Master trains his girl and helps her strive to bring forth the natural female and therefore the true slave that she is deep inside.

    This is not to say that the girl is not subject to discipline and punishment, she is! A kajira must be totally obedient and pleasing to the Master otherwise she can be whipped, chained, deprived, etc., at the Master's whim.

    My own personal outlook on punishment is to dispense a punishment fitting to the transgression. I can be firm and provide strong punishments if that is needed. Like I said before, I am not into the abuse type punishments such as burning, cutting, cutting off circulation with bondage or anything like that. I can and will give a good beating or use bondage to put the girl in uncomfortable positions as punishment. I may make her sleep on a cold floor and/or make her eat on her hands & knees from a bowl on the floor.

    I get no pleasure or thrill out of punishing my kajira, but I do so to help her learn and develop within her slavery and her inner self.

    I found the following on the web and I fully agree with the tenants it proscribes:

    I am Master…..

    I am Master—not because I shout orders at my slave—but because I do not have to shout, she serves me out of love and trust.

    I am Master—not because my name starts with a capital—but because I know my own strength and my weakness.

    I am Master---not because someone calls me that—but because I have mastered my inner self.

    I am Master—not because I know more than you—but because I will listen to you and share what little I know.

    I am Master---not because I demand blind obedience—but because when a slave gives me her self totally I am brought to my knees with the weight of her TRUST in me and the responsibility that comes with it.

    I am Master---not because I strut and posture—but because I am strong enough to accept the responsibility of owning a slave and not run from it in fear.

    I am Master—not because I am so wonderful—but because I have been given something that not many ever have—the responsibility of a slaves Heart and Soul

    --Author unknown


    My expectations as a Master are obedience and service. As stated before I am not harsh or cruel. I do not even think I am all that demanding.

    So here is the first chapter to my novel. If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them.

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